For the past 2 and a bit years, my hair has been black. Short and black, longer and black, with a fringe and black and even with stripes and black.

I have loved being so dark, as It really lends itself to the vintage style. Black hair, black eyeliner and red lips. I love everything about it.

But I have a problem. I have a very low boredom threshold.

My hairdresser can attest to this. I have gone in, hair to my shoulders in chocolate brown, and come out short peroxide blonde. I love something for a long time, and then one day I just have to do something.

Usually, this involves me going to my hairdressers and saying “sort me out, I am bored” or telling her what I want, and she persuades me that it isn’t a very good option. She is very good at talking me out of really bad ideas.

So there I was, a couple of weeks ago, dying over the pink stripes in the front of my hair with blue. Only it didn’t go blue. Then last Saturday, dying over the pinky/blue stripes in the front of my hair with purple. Only it didn’t go purple.

Having stripes of pinky, purpley, bluey greeny colour might look lovely like a mermaid or unicorn, it wasn’t what I wanted.

Then I remembered I had some dye stripper and a lovely Feria Mango hair dye that I was going to do ages ago. Well, it was a Sunday, and I knew my hairdresser wouldn’t be able to get me in for a couple of weeks…..Seemed like a grand idea to me!

So out came the dye stripper. It smelled horrendous. Like rotten eggs. I duly slathered it all over my hair, then wrapped it in clingfilm to encourage heat, stuck my shower cap on over the top AND put it under a woolly hat. And sat there for an hour.

After the hour, I duly washed it off and buffered it and all the other bizarre things I had to do in order for the colour molecules to clump together and run away out of my hair, just like the instructions promised. I took the towel off  expecting to look different.

Different was certainly the word!

The black hadn’t really moved at all, but the stripes in the front, well… they was blonde and green.

Yes, you heard me right. Blonde and Green.

Having a minor panic and talking to some super dye expert friends, they told me I needed to use a second stripper and do it all over again.

So I did. And sat for an hour smelling of rotten eggs.Whilst wearing clingfilm, shower cap and now 2 woolly hats.

The advice given inside is that when you come to wash it off, you stand under the shower for at least 10 minutes, rising it off. This will encourage the removal of the colour.

My friends said they did theirs for at least 30 minutes. So I stood in the shower for 30 minutes, bored silly. I even timed it. I was starting to feel faint from the heat and steam in the room when eventually the alarm went off.

I climbed out, towel dried my hair. Yep, you got it, still black, and the stripes were even more yellow and green than ever!

Well, starting to go into a mini panic (I was due to go to London the next day) I sent out a call for help.

The answer……..peroxide!

Now, I was starting to get into dangerous territory. I have never used peroxide on myself. I have always let my hairdresser do it for me. But what else could I do? I certainly couldn’t go out looking like this…..

So, Baby Bear did a panic Superdrug run for me, and came back with peroxide and bleach sachets. I read the instructions. I re-read the instructions. I read them another 9 times, before I finally mixed the two products together, and Baby Bear slapped them on my head.

Concentrating 95% of it on the length, as lets face it, the top didn’t need any assistance, we again wrapped my head in clingfilm…. and waited.

Looking at the time ticking by, I couldn’t wait for the 30 minutes to be up. Running up to the bathroom again, I rinsed off the stinky bleach, knowing this time I would be finally ready to become a lovely Auburn beauty.

Erm……….

Knowing that I had now managed to make a right balls up of it all, I had no choice put to put the Mango dye on my hair. Again, I concentrated on the lengths, as I didn’t want the top to go orange and left it for the advised time.

Of course, what happened? The top went exceedingly orange, whilst the length stayed pretty dark. There was also the odd patch to contend with that was orange at the side of my hair.

Well I was despairing of my stupid stubborn hair by this point. Mum was being very kind saying it didn’t look too bad if I parted it on the side. And she was right. I parted my hair on the side, and was quite impressed with the look.

Life, of course is never that simple, and my hair simply refuses to stay in a side parting. And who am I to blame it? It never asked for me to put product after product on top of it!

All told, I spent 9 hours either putting gunk on, washing gunk off, or sat with clingfilm and a woolly hat on. My whole day was wasted because I didn’t have any patience to wait for a hair appointment.

I have to admit though, I have been rather lucky. Instead of my hair falling out, or having the consistency of a brillo pad, it is lovely soft and shiny. I quite like the effect that I have going on. Almost as if I deliberately went with the brighter colour at the front to frame my face.

Of course, if anyone asks me, that’s the answer I am going with. After all, no-one would work so hard to make something so messed up!

The only issue I have now is….. The weekend is coming up and i *need* to try and even this colour up somehow!

Peroxide anyone?