A lot of my posts over the last couple have months have talked about the British Plus Size Awards. The Awards that never were. But this is the last one, I promise.

When I started thinking about writing this post I imagined it would be a sort of “open letter” to Linda Koch, telling her exactly what I felt. That all changed with the release of her latest statement.

Whilst previous statements were non-informative and full of waffle, the recent statement was in fact full of reasons explaining exactly what had happened.

Whether she did this to be transparent, or to garner sympathy I do not know nor am I here to judge.

What it did do is make me even angrier. You may wonder why this is the case and this is where I have a little bit of a rant.

So, being up for “Best Plus Size Blog” was a huge honour for me. The culmination of a year of hard work, the release of my own website, lots of writing and promotion. This was no different for the other five wonderful friends who were up in my category; Lottie L’amour, Kitty Rambles A Lot, Amanda Apparel, Curvy Girl Thin and Curves ‘n’ Curls.

Blogging Babes

Whilst I would have loved to have won, I genuinely didn’t think I had any chance at all. In fact I had told Lottie on several occasions that I thought she was the surefire winner. I was so convinced that if I could have put a bet on her, I would have done.

So when the awards were cancelled, I was furious on many fronts. Firstly all the money that had been spent by many many people in preparation for this massive red carpet event. The time, effort and cost of hotels, travel, outfits, hair and makeup. The time spent looking at shoes and accessories. The trying on of the gowns until the dream dress was found.

But secondly the fact that there were numerous award categories. All with five or six nominees, each one of those never knowing the result, never knowing if they had won the public vote.

Why??

This to me felt pretty awful. I honestly believed I would rather know the results and know I lost than never know at all.

This all changed when Linda made her second statement explaining her financial situation. A situation that she knew well in advance of the awards. A situation she could have avoided by being honest and upfront.

This also would have led to people being able to cancel hotels, appointments and travel without incurring such huge losses. She would have saved people a lot of heartache.

At the end of the statement she offered to send the winners their awards if they so desired, and attached photographs of all the deserving winners.

And there in my category was the award. Made out to “Secret Plus Size Goddess”

Absolutely over the moon…. yet gutted!

I had actually done it. I was the winner of Best Plus Size Blog.

Me, a 42 year old vintage loving woman who waffles away three times a week about her random life, had won it. And I was gutted.

The awards were to be the culmination of the year. A sparkling red carpet event where the winners are announced live on the night. The chance to walk up onto that stage and accept an award and to thank the important people.

And you, Linda took that away from us all!

This is what I cannot forgive. I can understand about getting out of your depth, of having money problems (as we all do) and of biting off more than you can chew.

But you let down the community that you professed to love and work on the behalf of. You took money, even knowing that the event was not going to go ahead. You broke peoples hearts when you cancelled and disappeared for over a week.

Dress courtesy of Florentyna Dawn

People have said, “Why would you want the award to be sent to you now? It’s not like it means anything as the awards didn’t happen”

My answer to them is, Hell yes, I want it! I plan on accepting that award for every one of the nominees that were in my category. For every category winner that never got their moment to shine. For every person who had their finest clothes ready for a glitzy event and were let down at the last moment.

It may not have been handed to me personally, but it is an important part of my blogging journey, for good or for bad.

I didn’t have a speech worked out for on the night, as I genuinely didn’t think I would need it. However, there were a few people I wanted to mention if by a miracle my name was called out, so here goes. This is the speech that never was, on the awards night that never was.

Feeling like a movie star

“I never for one minute expected that I would be up here, holding an award for “Best Plus Size Blog”

Two years ago I didn’t even know what a blog was, let alone consider writing one.

So, my thanks go to Mrs Frivolous D and LeahXL who introduced me to blogs, told me I should write one and in turn led me to find a huge family who supports, accepts and loves one another.

To Paul Burley web genius extraordinaire, who designed and keeps my website up and running, whilst answering stupid questions from this non-techno brained person.

To Florentyna Dawn who provided me with this most amazing gown, that makes me feel like a vintage movie star, you ladies are all wonderful.

To my husband and children who give me their wholehearted support

And finally to Lottie, Kitty, Amanda, Charli and Hayley. I couldn’t have been with better, beautiful, supportive and wonderful women. This is for all of us”