So, when I first started dipping my toe into the Plus Size Community there were a number of people that I started reading and following. One of these is the indomitable Virgie Tovar and I loved everything she was putting out there on social media.

Although based in a totally different country to me, she spoke to my inner self and said so many things that I wanted to say. She eloquently put things out there, with a feminist stamp on them and made them her own.

Vivacious Virgie

I wanted to be like her. To have the opinions and convictions she did. But I sat quietly at the side of things, taking it all in and hiding away.

I never thought I could express opinions like she did. Even though some of her words seemed like they were coming out of my mouth.

So when I was offered the chance to review her book ‘You have the right to remain Fat’ I literally jumped at the chance. I wanted to find out more about her and about her opinions.

Her book is not a long dreary book. It runs to just 128 pages (with acknowledgments) but is a powerful book indeed.

Inside Virgie talks about her childhood. The moment she realised she was different; Fat and hated. She talks about diet culture and Fatphobia.

And I identified with every single statement she made.

When I was growing up I was constantly told ‘don’t get fat, it is disgusting and no-one will ever love you if you are fat’

I found love.

And grew fat. Just like all my genetically related family.

Yet I still heard the phrase. But for me, I WAS loved and so it didn’t matter what size I became. Then we grew complacent, happy in our little word. Children came along and I grew bigger. And bigger.

I tried to convince myself I was happy. I plain and simply wasn’t.

So I went to the Doctor. I took those diet pills which made my tummy hurt in ways I have never felt before, and every morsel I put into my mouth resulted in greasy, disgusting diarrhoea. I lost around 5 stone and I got ALL the compliments under the sun. How well I had done, how amazing I looked, what a difference my transformation was.

And you know what?

I was BLOODY MISERABLE. I hated every single mouthful I put in my mouth. I dreaded going to the toilet and having to put up with the stomach cramps and resulting explosions – TMI I know, but absolutely true.

I stopped the dieting. I stopped the pills. And I put all the weight back on AND MORE.

But you know what?

For the first time, Like Virgie, I realised that life was too short. There is NOTHING wrong with being a larger size. I love my rolls, my bumps and lumps and my cellulite. I am the happiest I have been in a long time.

Yet this is what pisses most people off.

There is NOTHING worse than a happy fat person. It sets them right off. The looks, comments and abuse is hurled, just as Virgie explains. But what have we done wrong?

When we have chosen to spend our hard earned money in a restaurant and gained the derision of not only the staff but the other patrons.

Why?

Because we are fat?Really?!?! Is that all you can worry about!

The Virgie Tour

Life is too hard as it is. This book points out not only the injustice of fatphobia and the derision from total strangers, but also the need for people to ‘live and let live’

Virgie talks about a retreat at the end of her book where all the participants (if they chose) shucked off their clothing before wiggling, jiggling and giggling their way through a series of shakes called Jigglecize.

Now, you KNOW I SO want to take part in something like that. The chance to embrace every curve and wobble that my body possesses.

When you look at me, you see a size 26 short round woman with huge breasts.

I see a woman who has given natural birth to twin daughters, fought a daily battle with depression and mental health issues, has worked a job since the age of 15 and has had adventures, modelled, travelled across Europe and laughed and loved with family and friends alike.

Yes, I am fat.

But it doesn’t define me. I feel no need to lose any weight whatsoever. And neither should you.

Virgie puts it plain and simple.

You have the RIGHT to remain fat.

You do you, let those close minded, fatphobic bigots worry about themselves; they aren’t worth the sprinkles on your donut!!!

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. Even with my current BOPO status, I still took a long hard look at myself and realised I have a little bit of a journey still to go.

If you need to get some moral advice and a boost on your BOPO journey, you really need to invest an hour or two in reading this manifesto. You won’t regret it.

Till next time,

SPSG xx