So… if you read my blog regularly you will have seen the first day at Twinwood post earlier this week. If not, you might want to read it here as it won’t make a lot of sense otherwise.

When I last left you I was pretty drunk and being escorted off the site by security along with my husband and sister in law. And I didn’t have a clue why!

I had been drinking, singing and dancing with my amazing friends. I had moved onto just coca cola as I had sunk enough Vodka to annihilate a squadron of Russian Sailors and I was in a super happy, on top of the world place.

Saturday night Fun

And now I was being taken home.

Of course, when you are several sheets to the wind, rational thinking doesn’t come to you. I thought I was being escorted off by security, when in actual fact my husband and sister were being escorted ON by security as they didn’t have their wristbands yet.

Anyway, I was pretty indignant and upset that I was being taken away from the best time I was having in a really long time. I literally marched across the fields back to the farm, stomping every step of the way.

Getting into bed, I was out like a light within minutes.

Waking up the next morning, the mortification hit me. Everybody saw me being escorted off the site by security. I felt that I had made an absolute fool of myself and all because I wanted to have a good time. Beta blockers and alcohol clearly shouldn’t be mixed as the result is one of total embarrassment.

I burrowed into my duvet wanting to cry. For me, this was Twinwood totally ruined. How could I face those people again. Those people I called friends, They had seen me at my worst. I just wanted to stay under the covers and never come back out.

Anxiety and paranoia hit me full force. I had started off anxious due to wanting make sure everyone was having a good time and once it turned out they were, I had let a little too loose and now this was the result.

I could hear everyone getting ready around me. But I didn’t get up. I just literally couldn’t face anyone. So I wallowed in my own self inflicted misery. Strangely enough I didn’t have a hangover, I was just miserable with my own guilt and recriminations.

So, what happened next?

I was given a massive, stern, wake up talk by Little Chick. How she got so wise, I have NO idea.

Basically she told me to put my big girl pants on, stop sulking like a baby and get my arse out of bed. She literally did. She reminded me that I had saved hard all year to come to the festival, that the rest of the family and friends were relying on me and I had dresses to show off. She said that everyone has drunken, embarrassing stories to tell and I shouldn’t let it ruin the rest of the weekend.

So, I got my backside into the shower, did my make-up and put those big girl pants on. I added another made to measure rock and roll petticoat, a made to measure Betty Blue dress, Rocket originals and a bespoke hat by Jane Fairhead. I topped it all off with bangles and earrings from Bow and crossbones. The final touch was a Lux Deville Lucite handbag.

Made to measure Betty Blue dress

We got the noon bus up to Twinwood as it had been raining solidly for a couple of hours. A red vintage style umbrella and my elements raincoat sorted me out just right.

Arriving on site we went straight to the main arena to find Maxine and Gary sat in their chairs, raincoat and wellies on, listening to The Chicago Stompers. They were drenched but still having a whale of a time. A couple of dances later and we were all laughing and enjoying ourselves.

Reverse shot

The hubby and I popped over to a company that I was looking forward to him trying out; Some like it Holy. Tailors of the most amazing spear-pointed shirts, double breasted waistcoats and Oxford bags. I had been wanting him to try them out for over a year. Now was the time.

Sadly, due to the fact the patterns are made to vintage cuts and specifications, we couldn’t get him a double breasted waistcoat in his size on the day. However we did get a single breasted, the bags, braces and a shirt. As soon as he put it on, he stood taller and prouder. It truly was a sight to see.

Soaking wet…..NOT the Some like it Holy set either

The rain was getting heavier so we decamped to The Colonial Club for a bit of shopping and possibly a spot of lunch from the Carvery.

Meeting Mum and my Sister in there, they joined the queue for tea, however we decided we needed more than a cuppa and planned to join long time friends Beverley and her daughter Elisha for lunch.

Whilst in the club we spotted Dickie and Jenny and went to talk to them. He couldn’t believe I had just disappeared on them the night before. I explained what had happened and he was surprised as he had offered to walk me across the fields the previous night so I wasn’t on my own.

With Beverley and Jenny

It later transpired that several of my pals were so concerned about me blundering around in the dark across the fields that they had contacted my husband to ask him to come and walk me home. It now made a lot of sense.

Spotting the ravishing Lynda and her partner Dean, she asked if I was feeling ok after the heavy night. I literally had to admit that I was surprised I felt so good. We took advantage of some photo opportunities before heading to the Carvery.

Still can’t get away from my day job!

We hit it at just the right time; there were no queues in front of us and we walked straight up to the serving line. There was a choice of Beef, Pork and Gammon (or a mixture) roast potatoes, Yorkshires, vegetables, cauliflower cheese and lashings of gravy. Just what we all needed.

Ready for Carvery

It was still pouring down outside and a few of our party had hit the dance tent to learn Lindyhop and the Jitterbug stroll. I literally was stuffed with lunch and couldn’t have danced a step!

The next bus wasn’t until 6pm, but sadly Little Chick was flagging. She wanted to go back to the farm to have a sleep and then get ready for the night ahead. The only problem was she didn’t know the way!

Dickie and Jenny – My Twinwood Idols

I opted to walk her back and to be honest I could do with a nap after the heavy lunch so we walked back and had 40 winks.

Sadly my sister was due to travel to France in the early hours of the morning so needed to make a move as it was a 2.5 hr drive back home. I was so sad to see her go, but made sure I apologised for my stroppy behaviour that morning. She gave me a huge hug and told me that families love and forgive each other. I was so glad she came and was really sad she had to leave.

Waking up around 6pm I took another shower and wiped my make up off. I had a smashing outfit to wear that evening and even the rain had finally stopped.

I had bought a stunning dress and bolero from Pin Up Girl clothing. I had lusted after it for at least a year, but at nearly $200 for the set I genuinely couldn’t afford it.

However in July the company had a Massive sale and I mean Massive! The dress was reduced to $62 dollars and the bolero only $20. Well, I could hardly say no.

Pin up Girl Perfection

It arrived one week before Twinwood and I decided I would wear it. Now, the only only thing was I had never got around to trying it on. Fingers crossed it would fit!

Thankfully it did and I felt like a million dollars in it. Teaming it up with my vintage fur stole, we got on the 8pm bus and went back to the site. Maxine and Gary had already walked across the fields earlier so we were hoping to find them somewhere.

Melody, Lucy, Me and Little Chick

The headline act of the night was The Bootleg Beatles and the whole family wanted to see them.

Apart from me.

Really not my cup of tea at all, but I didn’t want to go off and find my friends and leave them to it. Somehow it just felt a bit wrong.

We popped in the Colonial Club first to say hi to Annette and Andy (and catch a bit of Sarah Spade and the Noisy Boys) before hitting the main arena.

Sitting down in our fold up chairs, we waited for the main event. The weather was drawing in and it started to get a little cold. I wrapped my fur around me tighter.

Waiting for the main event

Now, those of you who don’t know me personally might be surprised to learn that although I am clinically obese, I eat very little every day and consequently I have a really low metabolism. This means if I get cold my body just shuts down and I go to sleep. Literally I hibernate like a hamster.

To try and explain this, on Saturday I had sausage and chips around 2pm. The rest of the family had croissants, toast, fruit for breakfast, fish and chips for lunch and then pizza in the evening.

I ate nothing else.

On Sunday they had bacon sandwiches for breakfast, carvery for lunch and fish and chips for tea. I had Carvery and that was it.

So eventually when the Bootleg Beatles came on, I was frozen to the bone. I was dozing and shivering in tandem. That was when I was thrown a lifeline by Mum. She had a sleeping bag and offered it to me. Wrapping it around my shoulder I snuggled in and waited for the music to start.

I wish I could report that they were amazing. Or even that they were rubbish. Sadly I slept through the whole performance. Even towards the encore when the rain came pelting down, I snuffled my way through it; ladies don’t snore, they snuffle!

It was only the husband waking me up to ask for his raincoat (which I was sitting on) that woke me. Oh and the band had already finished! I had missed the lot.

We then wandered up to the Colonial Club as I knew Andy, Annette and friends could be found in there. Squeezing into a seat around their table, I introduced the whole family to them. Having a little chat I was in my element listening to the Chicago Stompers (again)  but the others wanted to move on.

I stayed with them whilst everyone else tried out The Soul Shack.

I was dry, sober, warm and in good company. You will notice I say sober. I hadn’t had anything the whole evening. I had learnt my lesson.

Little Chick wandered back around 30 minutes later telling me they were having the bestest time in the Soul Shack and they wanted me to join them.

Fluttering her eyelashes and laying on a guilt trip, I tried to explain that I was having a lovely chilled out time with my friends and I didn’t want to move.

She blatantly told me I had 5 minutes to get over to the Shack and she would be timing me! Who was the parent here?!?!

Thankfully Annette told me she was a real Northern Soul fan and wanted to go to the Shack with us. She picked up a bottle of Johnsons Baby Powder?!?!? and away we went.

I questioned her as to what the powder was for and she told me that all Northern Soul aficionados use it to make it easier to dance and spin on the dance floor. Well I was amazed!

Little Chick and her Grandyma

We went into the Shack and there were all my family and friends having the BEST TIME ever. They literally were grooving and moving out on the dance floor with huge smiles on their faces.

Meet the gang on Sunday night!

All I could think of was ALL that anxiety and worry all for nothing. They were having the most wonderful time and happiness was pouring off of them in droves.

Annette wanted to get onto the wooden part of the dance floor in order to dance better so we moved towards the front of the room. She went ahead and I was stopped by a man with a huge camera (I think he was an official photographer) who wanted to take my photo. Well, I was honoured and posed accordingly.

She looks stunnong… shame about the silly Dad face!

Then a lady came up to me and said her husband was fascinated by my style but was too embarrassed to speak to me and could she take a photograph. Well of course I posed for her and then asked who her husband was. When she pointed him out, I walked back to him with her, gave him a peck on the cheek and asked if we were going to have a photograph together. Well, his rosy red cheeks couldn’t have gotten brighter.

Me and my Little Chick

After several other people took photographs I finally got to the front where Annette and Little Chick were already dancing. Powder was duly scattered across the floor and we danced for a considerable time.

The official photographer even took Annette around the dance floor for a spin!

Sadly, the alarm was soon going off to tell me it was time to get the midnight bus back to the farm.

The day really had gone in the blink of an eye and we needed to get to bed to enjoy the last day ahead of us.

Family and Friends loving it!

I was amazed at what an amazing day it had been, considering how it had started out. But I thoroughly enjoyed every second, which I hadn’t expected to and I was glad Little Chick had kicked me into touch.

So, what happened on the very last day? You will have to stay tuned to see…..

Till next time

SPSG xx