Having a social media presence means that I get a *lot* of messages from people.

Now, don’t get me wrong, not all are bad. Indeed, there are lovely messages of support and compliments. People wanting to know where a certain outfit is from. Asking for advice regarding plus size bodies and confidence.

All are absolutely brilliant and I will never ignore a message sent to me of this kind.

Sadly, these are few and far between compared to the hundreds I get every week from random men. Now I am not making this about a ‘him vs her’ thing. But if you are on social media, you will probably know the kind of thing I mean.

The ‘hey baby’, ‘gorgeous, sexy lady’ kind of things. Then the ones from people of which English is possibly not their first language. I have had everything from ‘I love fat grandma’ to ‘Bobbi’s huge’ and some translations are easier than others!

Then of course there are the sexual ones, ‘I want to bite your armpit’ is possibly the cleanest of them, however I have had many emails telling me explicitly what they want to do to me.

The worse of course, are the dick pics. I think I must have seen every shape, size and colour of penis in my 7 years as a blogger and I really didn’t want to see even a single one of those!

But, you really do have to take the rough with the smooth, and I have had opportunities and some great “relationships” founded through an initial internet message.

One of the best of these has been with @thepieeyes who has created some of the most amazing cartoons and caricatures from my photos including the ‘Bathykolpian Books‘ series which is one of my absolute favourites.

Just Call Me Jezebel

Anyway, I digress.

Several months ago I had a lovely message from a gentleman called @hankeernst who very politely enquired if I would allow him to paint my portrait.

When I get polite requests such as that, I usually check out the work of the person asking. Not because I am vain and only want good artists to paint me, but I need to know that the works are respectful and something that I can be associated with.

This is mainly due to my professional life outside of blogging but even without that, I don’t wish to be connected to something distasteful.

Hanke Ernst was both polite and respectful and whilst his work was different to pretty much anything I had seen, I cannot deny that he was both talented and unique.

I replied saying that he could paint anything he wished and he thanked me and said he would keep me updated with his progress.

A Blossoming Beauty

A month or so passed and I had a had a message to say that he had started the portrait and wanted to send the initial renderings to see what I thought.

To say it wasn’t quite what I expected is an understatement.

Every portrait I had seen featured a buxom lady. They also featured a random animal of some sort; a blonde with seahorses, a dark haired lady with a badger and stoat, another blonde with a hippo.

Study in Blue

All wore lacy, feminine clothing and the animals were really cool too.

Now to my portrait.

When I say it wasn’t what I expected, it was because Hanke Ernst had chosen to portray me as a male character that I played in a murder mystery game last February.

Champagne!

My character was ‘Champagne Charlie’ and featured braces, Brylcreme’d hair and a thin moustache. The piece de resistance was an original 1940’s top hat.

Off To A Start

The evening was a lot of fun and I had loved playing the character.

To see myself in full definition as a man was pretty cool. The fact that Hanke Ernst had added a turkey wearing MY top hat was even cooler.

Hello My Little Friend

He had got the facial expression absolutely perfect. The clothing was spot on, including the bra that was slightly visible thru my white shirt.

I was surprised by just how well he had captured me and looked forward to when he had added some colour to his initial painting.

A Right Proper Charlie

When I got another message a few weeks later, it was with a lot more details and colour. Although the subject looked so familiar (obviously) it didn’t look like ‘me’ if that makes any sense.

Hanke Ernst sent me another message stating that he was finished with the portrait and attached a photograph of his final rendering and I have to say, I absolutely loved it.

Turkey Trot

I have  had several statements and been asked some questions by family and friends. These are my responses

Yes, it is certainly different.

No, it isn’t obvious that it is me.

The turkey is cool but I don’t know if there is any symbolism to it.

I have no idea why he puts animals in the paintings.

No, I don’t know why he chose a photograph of me as a male.

Now I am sure that if I asked Hanke Ernst those questions, he would more than happily tell me the reasons behind his designs.

Tanya and Turkey

However, I like the portrait and I really don’t need to know his thought processes behind what he does. I am pretty honoured that he chose to use one of my photographs and the fact there is a cool turkey in a top hat is the icing on the cake.

Or so I thought.

Hanke Ernst made contact with me a couple of days ago to say that he had all his portraits ready. When I asked what they were ready for, he told me that his work was being shown in an art gallery exhibition, including me and my turkey!

So Very Detailed

What a turn up for the books.

I can honestly say I never expected that at all and I have to admit to being a bit thrilled.

After all, its not every day that you get to be in an art exhibition, especially by someone who you have never met or sat for.

The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul…

Pretty cool though!

Till next time,

SPSG xxx