If you check my blog regularly, you will certainly have noticed the lack of writing over the past 8 weeks. Indeed my writing over the year has been quite sporadic due to several reasons.
The main one is simply…. Life.
There are less hours in the day available, as work is so busy and my personal life is quite demanding.
The pain and issues I have been having with my knee escalated and the medication I was given was a lot stronger, meaning I was getting into bed at 8pm, instead of 11pm.
Ready for the Off
That is three hours per day gone and I just never seem to be able to catch up!
Another large part of my absence is my mental health. It has been fluctuating a fair amount, and I have been struggling to keep on an even keel.
Have to get the Right One!
In the past I have stated quite vehemently that writing actually helps my mental health and it is an outlet for my depression and anxiety. However, on the flip side, when I am having poor mental health, I listen to those voices in the back of my mind that tells me my writing is rubbish, no-one wants to see it and I become ‘blocked’
The longer I leave it without writing, the worse it gets. The voices ramp up and I pay too much attention to them.
SmartTV too!
And so I don’t write. It then becomes a vicious circle.
There was a little bit of light at the end of this tunnel as I have had an enforced break of 4 weeks so far.
Or so I thought.
As many of you know, I severely damaged my knee five years ago and now it had got to the point where I couldn’t walk any distance at all. Every part of my life was affected and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
My Room for the next few days
Due to a small inheritance from my Mum, I had elected to pay privately for the operation, which was going to be a robotic assisted full knee replacement.
I arrived on the 13th November at 0700 in the morning. Baby Bear drove me and kept me company until it was time to go down to theatre, around noon.
To say I was petrified was an understatement.
All the Mod Cons
I had barely slept the whole week before it and I just didn’t know what to expect. I have never broken a bone, wore a cast or needed an invasive operation.
Listening to the doctors advising what was going to happen, what the procedure was and the aftercare, I have to admit it pretty much went in one ear, jumbled about in my brain a bit, before being completely forgotten!
When it was time to go, I had a sudden change of heart and my worries drifted away. It was hopefully going to be the beginning of a new life filled with better mobility and new adventures.
Putting on a brave face
I was given an epidural before being wheeled into the theatre. It was explained that once in the theatre, I would have a mask put over my mouth and nose and count back from ten.
Moving into the theatre, on the bed, I could hear people bustling about and metallic noises and being a bit of a coward, I decided to close my eyes so I wouldn’t see what was happening.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery!
A Cup of Tea. Exactly what was needed after the Operation.
I didn’t even get to count backwards.
When I was in recovery, I did manage to cause them a few issues. My heart rate kept dropping quite considerably; at one point it was down to 41 beats per minute.
I woke up with a nurse and two doctors standing over me. They were concerned and wanted to observe my vitals. As they were talking to me, the heart rate was normal which was causing some consternation.
All bandaged up
Dozing back off, I was shaken awake. My rate had dropped again. What was going on?
The Doctors eventually realised that every time I fell asleep, my rate dropped and as soon as I was awake again, it went to back to normal.
Concerns addressed, I was told I would be moving back to my room soon.
A small snack
Strangely I felt quite good. There was no pain at all and when I got back to the room, there was a loaded tray waiting for me to have when I felt like eating.
Sandwiches, crisps, cake and a fresh fruit salad. It was around 3pm so I was pretty hungry.
It was so yummy that I finished every bite.
They also had a dinner plate delivered around 7pm which consisted of Chicken Noodle soup, a sandwich, crisps, cake and a large ice cream sundae. I was more than happy with the ice cream to be honest, however the soup was really good too.
Dinner Time
Day two started with a full English breakfast, tea and toast.
I could get used to this.
Then the Physio team arrived and got me walking around. They advised I needed to try walking up and down some stairs before I could be released.
I assumed there would be a set of two or three steps which could be practiced on.
Being led to a full set of hospital stairs, I was asked to walk all the way down and back up again. I was stunned that I could do it, although it was a little slow.
Lunch was a prawn, mango and chili salad, then roast chicken with all the trimmings. Dessert was a vanilla sundae which I chose to eat first as I didn’t want it to melt!
Roast Chicken with all the trimmings
I was hoping to go home after lunch however I had not been assessed for my medications yet and needed signing off by the surgeon too.
Still in my room when dinner came, I was treated to a salmon on orzo and black rice salad and Key Lime pie.
Absolutely gorgeous
To be honest, I was starting to hope I could stay for a couple of days more!
I was, however, allowed to come home around 7pm. I was walking well with minimal pain and I was amazed at how good I felt.
One of the main things that I needed to do was the prescribed exercises. I needed to keep mobile so I didn’t stiffen up, and the exercises were to help me strengthen and allow the new joint to become part of me.
Just a little bandage to wear home
For the first 9 days, the pain was bearable. I had been given 5 different medications ranging from paracetamol to liquid morphine. I hadn’t even got to level three and was feeling brilliant.
It was then I got a complete kick in the backside when around day ten the pain hit me like a freight train.
I simply got up slowly out of a chair and it felt like someone had thrust a spear into the heel of my foot, right up to my thigh bone. I screamed out loud with pain and shock and couldn’t bear any weight on my right leg.
Day 7
The pain was like nothing I had ever felt.
I was that worried, I called the hospital to seek advice, and I ended up seeing the on-call doctor, had some x-rays AND they got my surgeon to come and talk to me as well.
Day 12
This was when I was made aware that the anaesthetic and medication used during the operation can take up to FOUR weeks to wear off.
I was bimbling along in my merry little way, doing my exercises and walking around a fair bit to get the joint moving when I was bumped back to square one.
The fear of putting my foot down was paralysing.
Day 16
I was so scared of the pain that I didn’t want to move. Getting out of a chair, rolling over in bed, trying to get to the toilet, It was all excruciating.
Instead of spending my afternoons lounging around on the sofa, watching Christmas films and doing my writing, I was sleeping hours at a time and taking medication regularly which meant I didn’t get ANYTHING done.
One Month Later
Seven weeks have now passed and whilst I am not completely pain free yet, I am moving about a lot easier and I don’t need to have a walking stick anymore, let alone a wheelchair.
The physio is thrilled with my progress and to be honest, so am I.
Trying to get Festive
I will be back later this week, recovery. The incision has healed nicely, and I take more steps every day.
Apart from the pain, the worst part of all this is that Christmas has fallen right in the middle of my recovery.
No parties, celebrating with staff at work, exchanging presents in advance and enjoying the festive lights and sounds around the town.
Heels just for show!
No need for Christmas themed clothing or jewellery like I wear every year to work. My Christmas shoes are staying in their box as heels won’t be possible for at least 6-8 months, if at all.
A couple of days on the run up to Christmas, I have had to have medical appointments and made the effort to get a little Christmassy with my clothing, but sadly it is just not the same.
Christmas Shoes
BUT next year is a whole New Year and there are adventures to be had and I intend to make the most of my new knee and the freedom it will allow me.
Oh and I have purchased lots of Christmas items in the sales, ready for December 2025!
Today, 06th January
Till next time,
SPSG xxx