If you have been a long time reader/follower, you may remember a very personal blog I wrote where I shared my struggles and addiction to alcohol, namely Vodka.

2021 Southend Modelling

Some of it was pain management, another factor included the simple fact I liked the taste, and overall my addictive personality ruled and I drank because it had become part of my daily life, and it made me happy.

Or did it?

July 2021

For sure, it masked a lot of unhappiness.

I was in constant pain, I was struggling at home, at work, well, just in life in general.

August 2021

Things were not going very well at all, and whilst the alcohol made me think I was happy and loving life, the reality was very different.

If you would like to read the my full story, you can find it here 

Twinwood 2021

So, if I have already written about my issue, what exactly is this post about?

Well, unbelievably, on the 11th February, I will be celebrating FIVE YEARS of sobriety.

Twinwood Times

Now, outwardly, I have always been quite positive about not drinking and have said repeatedly that I don’t really miss it. This is 95% truth, as there will always be times or situations where a drink was wanted or needed.

When I say “wanted”, imagine you are on a wonderful tropical holiday and the sun is hot, the pool is thankfully cool and a Long Island Ice Tea (always my cocktail of choice) would really hit the spot.

November 2021

Yes, I wanted one.

But not enough to break my vow of sobriety.

May 2022

Of course, “needed” is a completely different kettle of fish.

Stress, pain, frustration, anger, upset and more can contribute to the need to have a strong alcoholic drink to help calm down, chill out or block out pain whether it be mental or physical.

Chicago 2022

This was the big issue in the first place.

Needed is a very strong word too.

It’s A Drag Thing

I wasn’t shaking, sweating or in mental turmoil, but I did want to grab a bottle and a glass and pour a healthy slug.

Instead, I did the next best thing. I sat myself down and gave myself a good talking to.

November 2022

As I have said previously, I have an addictive personality, meaning that it is all or nothing. If I took that first drink, then it would be like I never stopped drinking and before I knew it, I would have a problem again.

Coupled with the fact that I would have let not only myself down, but more importantly, I would have failed my daughters. It was down to them that I went to my doctor, who in turn told me all about “substance to solution”.

August 2023

It was with their help that I took those first steps to sobriety.

And I have kept on that path ever since.

Twinwood 2023

I can look in a mirror and be proud of who I see. Yes, there are a few more wrinkles and lines, probably stress and pain related. But my eyes are clear, as is my mind.

Long gone are those mornings, waking up feeling like something the cat has dragged in. Worrying about what I may have said or done the night before until the anxiety really ramps up when I was unable to remember a single thing.

Bali Spa Day 2023

Those black holes eating away at my soul and my mental health.

All a thing of the past, which I am grateful for and also proud of.

Bali 2023

So far I have gone 1,828 days without an alcoholic drink.

That is a hell of a long time, yet also just a blink of an eye. A mere 60 months which doesn’t sound quite as long, does it?

Singapore 2023

Either way, my intention is to stay strong and sober for the rest of my life, however long that may be. I know how the ‘other’ side looks and the consequences that I face should I wander of the path that is ahead of me.

Romania 2024

And that is a risk that I am not willing to take.

Now or Ever.

Till next time

SPSG xxx

PS. Every photograph in this blog is with either a Mocktail or a Non-Alcoholic “spirit” and mixer. You can get such a huge range now and some of them are pretty darn good! I highly recommend a great website called Wise Bartender – link is here